Hoopla Titles THEY* Don’t Want You to Know About!
*Those with good taste
As an aged relative once remarked after I gifted her with a classroom craft of papier-mâché and pastels, “Just to look at this hurts, and thank you.” Her use of “and”, that benign conjunction which joins and connects, introduced to me a new concept: something could be simultaneously without great value and much appreciated.
Thus began my love affair with the garish, gaudy, and downright god-awful. Some call this type of item kitsch, others refer to an ironic appreciation of the worthless as camp. Whatever the label, this fact remains: Not all that glitters is gold, and thank heavens for that!
Here is a series devoted to library materials woefully overlooked and wrongfully unloved. Think of this as Antiques Roadshow where we instead sift through treasure to find trifles, where we forsake keepsakes for crap.
These are the items you never knew you never needed.
Creating Sand Beaches with Poop by Anita Louise McCormick (book)
Some books have ambiguous titles that don’t reveal their meaning until the story’s conclusion. Not so here. I respect this book’s bravery to get to the heart, or the bowel, of the matter straightaway.
At only thirty-two pages, it’s the perfect length to read while you, er, prepare the ingredients! Although, even with a pandemic on, I don’t think I could become desperate enough to try this particular craft out.
If you enjoy Creating Sand Beaches with Poop, then by all means make a movement to other modern classics like Cat Poop or Rabbit Poop? and Deer Poop or Bear Poop? Questions your family will have hours of fun trying to answer!
And remember: just like most literature, all you need to fully enjoy this one is a good push.
Better Bowling Through Hypnosis by Dr. Matthew Cohn (book)
Do you want to improve your bowling game, but being conscious just keeps getting in the way? If the answer is yes, then this is the audiobook for you, my ten-pin paisan!
You don’t have to spend hours practicing in some seedy bowling alley to realize the strikes of your dreams. In fact, you need not even be awake! The dulcet tones of Dr. Matthew Cohn will provide you with the blueprints to better bowling — all through hypnosis!
If you don’t see marked improvement in your game after just one listen, then maybe success isn’t meant for you. Let’s face it, there is literally no other way to improve one’s bowling skills than by falling asleep and following the suggestions of a disembodied voice while under hypnosis.
Hava Nagila: The Movie! directed by Roberta Grossman
Documentary films tackle sobering topics and attempt to find meaning and reason in them. An Inconvenient Truth highlighted the growing threat of climate change. Bowling for Columbine explored America’s relationship with firearms. Joining their ranks is Hava Nagila: The Movie!, the film that finally blows the lid off that song you kind of know that goes with that one dance with the chair.
In this 72-minute exposé, you’ll experience firsthand the song and dance that has, for generations, terrorized heavyset Jews with nightmares of tumbling to the floor.
You won’t want to miss the next entry in this film series: the Hanukkah horror tale, Dreidel Dreidel, starring Meredith Baxter and the voice of Jeff Goldblum as the Dreidel. Spinning out of control this fall on Lifetime.
Mako Mermaids: An H2O Adventure – Season 1
We are currently in a Second Golden Age of Television. Like its predecessor in the 1950s, this new wave of programming has redefined what televisual storytelling can offer us: more complex plot structure, deeper exploration of fully-realized characters, and grander, even cinematic, stylization. Shows like The Sopranos, Mad Men, and Game of Thrones have changed the way we think about the power of television to move us in ever richer and more fulfilling ways.
But did they have sexy fish-people?
In Mako Mermaids: An H2O Adventure, viewers go “Under the Sea” in the Land Down Under! Sirena, Nixie, and Lyla, three real-life mermaids, have to guard a magical pool and keep it free of all land-dwellers. But when hunky bachelor Zac sneaks into their cove, the three friends must act fast before he steals all of their powers and magic!
I’m not sure what is harder to believe: the existence of mermaids or the fact that this show has three seasons. But that’s not all! Mako Mermaids: An H2O Adventure is, inexplicably, a spin-off of ANOTHER AUSTRALIAN MERMAID SHOW called Just Add Water!
Also, I love how the merman on the DVD cover looks like he’s trying to literally swim away from the show.
If you let it, Mako Mermaids: An H2O Adventure will swim right into your heart and stay there! Like a parasitic barnacle.